You are a waterfall [entries|friends|calendar] Che!sey [ website | WasteOfSpace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[30 Jun 2008|07:31pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | xiu2 ] wow, its been a while.. Somewhere inside i know i have something i have been meaning to lay on the table, but i can't pin point it. Almost as if that something is running into a little side street the bus wont come down. Oh well. Its June 30th, rainy day. I always feel really awkward on days like these.. tired eyes, yet slightly energetic. I tried applying that energy to dance dance revolution, it was going well.. until it wasn't. A little worn out, maybe thats why this entry is a dull. I've been in a coldplay mood, eddie has too, its really nice, to an extent. I think im at the point where i could drift off into the ocean, its really dark, and your floating, and wont ever run into anything because there is nothing, i think thats the mood coldplay gives off. Its nice, until you get sea sick. Im there. Ive been catching up on self harp lessons, which are really helping. Im learning, slowly, but getting there. Its just a little hard sometimes, so many distractions... Comment

[26 Dec 2007|11:30pm] no Comment

[09 Dec 2007|09:41pm] [ mood | content ] Just in time for the holidays, a lot is coming together, in vivid colors, -in glorious colors. I feel a great amouint of gray drifting away from me, along with some shades of envious greens, the hateful reds, and some selfish purples. I am close to a handful of gold and it is terrifying. Coming to those much needed sighs, where everything is in its little place, like a bookshelf. Its nice. I feel that i am getting stronger, yes, i do. I feel more capible to give, and love. And to give and love without expecting a thing back. It is only the best time of the year, and yes, it really is. Comment

[28 Nov 2007|09:42pm] I don't think you're ever supposed to know anything for sure. I think if you did, then not one thing would be exciting anymore.   Comment

[12 Nov 2007|10:50pm] i figured out my password, walla walaaaa Comment

[28 Jun 2007|12:41am] Its so strange how the smallest things can trigger the biggest though process's or even bring back a memory you probably don't want to remember. Outside my window, at 10 pm i heard a bird cherping as if it was morning, and for some reason i just thought about when i had this one bird when i was seven, i picked up from the side of the road, torn apart from a cat, but it was still alive. At that point i didnt know what to do, and i thought about it.. half alive and cant move, twitching and trying, then maybe i realized it didnt want to die just then, well, the bird finally got better for a little, but died two weeks later, and it was weird because for the few weeks i had that bird, it was the most fascinating thing, to see this creature get well and live.. and i loved the bird because of that, and then it wasnt there anymore, and suddenly everything i felt, couldnt be given to it anymore, so where does it go? i still dont know.     Its also weird how you can know someone, know them like you know yourself, only its so much more exciting because you can get bored with yourself cause you understand yourself and why you do the things you do, but someone else... you'll never really know, but sometimes you feel so good, and so happy that you feel like you do know, just for a moment, maybe longer, but you know what its like, to just really feel like youre not alone, but its also good, to have those times when you dont know, when you dont know at all, but then somehow, the littlest things you notice, can bring you right up again.. to feel parallel almost, its perfect, to be up and down, and its great to really really feel something emotionally, its like that feeling that someone is watching you, but in the way that everything you do, is like a rush of excitement and they cant stop watching.. you know its really great to express yourself, its beautiful.  But the thing is.. people go away, and they find other people to get that feeling with because there are just so many people, and even though you might of been some sort of miracle in their life, and you all of a sudden feel like you have just lost a chunk of your emotions, and the things you felt, the sections that were opened up, have been closed, and frozen, and now you just cant feel anything, and its like someone has died, someone has died, and isnt there anymore, something that happened and wont ever come back, nothing to add on, just something to look back on, and cry, because you cant feel the way you did anymore cause they arent there. its not because they don't feel for you, but its almost if its ben divided, and no one is looking back to see if each other is there, or will be, and they've just grown onto everything they've gained and stole your euphoria, not because they don't care, not because they want to hurt you, but because they took a second, to leave with feeling dominant, looked around and not looking back, and felt like being a teacher, and they wanted a student, but you were just another teacher, and they want to keep showing people how to gain this joy, not realizing, they just want more. Its hard to keep your feet on the ground, its even harder keeping someone else's right next to you. Its hard to stay parallel, but its possible, and its possible to try, and try again and get it, just get what you want because somewhere inside, you told yourself you could, and even deeper, the memories will give you hope, and those little things you noticed will come in handy because you know they might be faking dead, and when your turning around they're gasping for air, and maybe at the right time, you'll ketch them, but dont be too late because its not easy to stay alive, and you need to protect the ones you love, and just do what you feel you should because its not fair to not listen to yourself and its not fair to not listen to anyone else, just listen to your resolution, oh we can all be happy if we tried, try while youre alive. The ones that forget you, oh they must not have seen you, but someone did. 7 ))<>(( Comment

[05 Jun 2007|12:38am] the garbage man isn't gonna come anymore if i keep putting bombs in my trash can. Comment

[01 Jun 2007|11:52pm] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | the pastels ] This was one hectic school year and im glad its over. I felt like ive ben awake for 180 days, and now i can go hibernate, and do things i actually want to do, and HEY maybe i can actually get things DONE, im excited. I hope i can concentrate and not get distracted by all the FUN my friends are having, you know, getting TRASHED, and then forgetting, & repeat. i REALLY hope there is more to summer then that. Everyone was crying because of  the faces they mostlikely wont ever see again, i just dont know why things like that happen. I was crying  because of the faces i mostlikely will see again. Comment

[22 May 2007|06:27pm] GET OUT OF MY LIFE. 9 ))<>(( Comment

this is still what a journal is [08 May 2007|11:00pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | tonightandtodayxiuxiu ] i woke up late today, i ate a lot today, i drank good coffee today, i was confused today, i am confused today, i wanted to smash my head in a door today, until i decided i was kidding today, i was really happy today, i was really sad today, i saw a cougar today, i saw a fox today, i laughed today, i had fun today, i was really happy today, i was shocked today, i felt healthy today, im going to bed today. goodnight 1 ))<>(( Comment

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